I'm Trying
by rutgers
Summary: Jane and Maura heal their friendship, while Jane still struggles in the aftermath of the life-changing events. Thank you guys so much for all the reviews! Chapter 10 is up. CONCLUSION. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

I'm Trying - Chapter 1

Wow. I'm baaaaaccckkk... and a lot sooner than even I expected to be but this one just started flowing yet again. This is the follow up to the recently-completed fanfic "I Tried". It is set when Jane returns to work after her leave from Frankie's death and her self-inflicted gunshot wound. Please, as always, read and review! I hope you like this one! Thanks! - rutgers

Disclaimer: : I don't own any of the characters from Rizzoli and Isles - the credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm merely borrowing them for a fan fiction idea.

Detective Jane Rizzoli stood at her kitchen counter, drinking a cup of coffee and staring at the badge and gun before her. It had been over a month since she had been on duty. The death of her brother and her own shooting had sidelined her and she found herself nervous about going back. She caught a glimpse of the clock on the stove - seven thirty-five. She gulped the last of her coffee and attached her gun and holster to her left hip and the badge to her right.

Jane gathered her keys, phone and wallet and headed toward the door, pausing to look at the photo of Frankie and her taken just a few years ago. The department had given her his regular-duty badge while he had been buried with the one that belonged on his formal uniform. The badge now leaned up against this photo. She made a note to get a better frame so the badge could be safely enclosed.

"I love you, Frankie, and I miss you. Today and every day at work won't ever be the same," she said, softly, kissing her right index and middle fingers and placing the kiss on Frankie's face in the photo. She took a deep breath and headed out.

Driving the short distance to work, she really hoped that there wasn't a huge fanfare made of her return. She wanted to arrive quietly and blend in and just get back to work - didn't want a whole big fuss made. She didn't want to be viewed as a hero - if she had truly been a hero, she would have been able to save Frankie. She wasn't able to and she still struggled with that - and the only person who truly knew how much she was struggling was Maura Isles.

Maura stood by her even after she was so cruel to her. Jane knew she'd never have a friend like Maura ever again - and that was okay. Maura was the only friend she really needed. She loved Frost and Korsak and was good friends with both of them, but it was different with Maura. She was the one person she could actually one-hundred percent be herself with - and that meant more to her than anything.

She parked the car and walked into the bullpen - dreading the chance she may find balloons and all that other kind of shit at her desk. She was relieved to walk in and find no one else in there - and grateful for the solitude. As she walked toward her desk, she saw an envelope and a wrapped pastry box from her favorite bakery in the city, Flour Bakery. Maura. She shook her head and smiled even as her stomach growled at the thought of the warm banana bread that lay in the confines of that white, neatly tied box.

She looked around, remembering when Frankie had come in and told her they arrested a witness from the warehouse. She remembered putting her gun in her drawer right in front of Marino . Her left hand automatically touched her sidearm, which Korsak had returned to her after the review board was finished with its investigation.

"Son of a bitch," she said aloud to herself.

It was hard to be here, this was the last place she saw Frankie alive and completely well, as they walked out quickly together when she went to interrogate the witness, thinking they were on their way to finding out who killed Danny. She slowly turned and looked all around the bullpen, finally her eyes landing on her desk again, and the envelope propped up against her keyboard. She automatically recognized the handwriting.

She was pulled out of thought by a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Korsak standing there.

"Good morning, Rizzoli," he said, handing her the usual cup of coffee. He started to walk to his desk but stopped, backtracked, put the other coffee he was holding down on the desk and warmly hugged her. "I know you aren't all into this sort of thing, but I've missed you, and I'm glad you're back," he whispered, his voice shaky. She hugged him. When they pulled apart, she could tell he had tears in his eyes.

"Come on Korsak, you're gonna get me started, come on," she said, her husky voice wrought with emotion.

"I'm sorry Jane. Welcome back," he said, wiping his eye quickly.

She smiled. "I appreciate it, Vince. And thank you for the coffee."

He smiled and moved on to his desk. Next, Frost came in, placing a cup of coffee on her desk.

"Welcome back, Jane. It's so good to see you back sitting across from me. I've missed you," he said, hugging her.

She hugged him too, her eyes still a bit teary from the warm reception from Korsak. "Thank you, Barry. Also, thank you for the coffee."

"Oh, you already have coffee?" Maura chimed, looking at Jane's desk and then looking down at the two cups in her hand.

Jane couldn't help but let out a throaty laugh. "Okay, so, was this your collective plan - to keep me off duty today by making sure I stay in the ladies' room all day pissing my brains out?"

All four of them laughed and Maura placed one cup of coffee on Jane's desk. Jane wrapped her in a hug.

"Thank you, Maura, for the coffee and the banana bread too. And, I haven't even read what's in the envelope yet. I'm kinda afraid to, in case it makes me cry," she said.

Maura returned her embrace. "Well, you may want to wait and read it at home then."

"Guys, really, thank you. I appreciate everything, I really do. It's going to take me a bit to get into the swing of things, but I will, I promise all of you."

"There was never any doubt, Rizzoli," Frost said.

...

Jane had spent most of her morning in meetings with her superiors welcoming her back and briefing her on certain issues, On her way back to her desk, Cavanaugh popped his head out of his office.

"Hey, Rizzoli, can you come in here for a few minutes?"

"Yes, sir."

She came in and sat down, her left leg twitching a bit - much like it did when she would be sitting in the principal's office at school, which was a bit too often for her parents' liking. Usually, Cavanaugh would perch on his desk while you sat in the chair to show you who exactly had authority, however, Jane noted this time, he took a seat in the chair directly next to her.

"It's good to see you back, Rizzoli. We've certainly missed you around here," he said.

She nodded. "Thank you, sir, I'm glad to be back."

"If you need anything, you can come to me - I'll help you whatever way I can. You're one hell of a great cop, Rizzoli, and the Boston Police Department is very lucky to count you as one of its own."

Wow. Cavanaugh didn't throw those types of compliments around very often. She smiled, her right thumb involuntarily circling the scar on her left hand. "Thank you. I really appreciate that."

"Okay, you can get out there," he said, gently patting her shoulder. She got up and he headed around to behind his desk "Oh, and Rizzoli?"

"Yeah," she said, spinning around in the doorway.

"Don't you ever pull a fuckin' stunt like that again. You scared the hell out of me."

She let out a small laugh. "I promise, Lieu. Thank you."

He smiled and nodded and she was on her way back to the desk.

"Oh, hey, Maura was up here looking for you. Asked that you head down to see her," Frost said, picking his head up from a mound of paperwork.

"Okay, thanks," she said, but thought better of it after a minute. "Did she say what she wanted?"

"Nope."

"I'll just give her a call."

...

"Isles," Maura answered, not even looking at the screen of her Blackberry.

"Hey, it's me. Frost told me you were looking for me, I just got out of a shitload of meetings. What's up?"

"Oh, I wanted to know if you wanted to go to lunch."

"I'd love to. Meet you outside in about ten minutes?"

"Okay."

Jane was grateful that was all it was and even more so that she didn't have to head down to the morgue.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm Trying - Chapter 2

Disclaimer: : I don't own any of the characters from Rizzoli and Isles - the credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm merely borrowing them for a fan fiction idea. I've seen a lot of story alerts and favorite story alerts (which warm my heart!) and those are great and so appreciated, but please also review! :-) Thanks.

"So how's the morning been?" Maura asked, taking a forkful of salad.

"Eh, it's been okay. Just had a shitload of meetings. I think I've been at my desk for all of fifteen minutes," Jane said, pouring ketchup on her plate and on her burger.

"You used that term on the phone too - what exactly is a shitload?"

Jane smirked. "A lot of meetings."

Maura rolled her eyes. "You can't just say that?"

"Really? This coming from you, little miss en ... " Jane struggled to remember the word Maura used in the park " ... tomology."

"You mean etymology. Entomology is the study of insects, Jane."

It was Jane's turn to roll her eyes. She playfully tossed the balled-up paper cover from her straw at Maura, who successfully dodged it while laughing.

They ate their lunches in companionable silence for a while. Maura watched as Jane swirled a French fry around in her pile of ketchup. She didn't say anything, she just made a mental note of how long Jane repeated the action.

"Jane. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, why?"

"Well, you've been swirling that fry in ketchup for the last minute and 39 seconds."

Jane raised her eyebrow at her, in disbelief that she knew exactly how long Jane had engaged in the repetitive action while deep in thought.

"Sorry. I just kind of spaced out," she said, finally eating the fry.

She wasn't quite ready to tell Maura what was bothering her, but she knew that sooner or later she would have no choice.

"How's your day been, Maura?"

"Pretty slow, actually. I've just been catching up on some files and such. Updating and logging into the computer. Fun, fun."

As if on cue, Jane's phone started buzzing. "Oh, I think you can say goodbye to your slow day," she said, looking at the screen. "Rizzoli."

"Hey, it's Frost - need you and Doc at 900 Wister Ave. I'm on my way there now."

"Okay. On our way too, we'll meet you there," Jane said and hung up the phone. "Better finish up that rabbit food quick, Maura, we got a body."

...

When Jane and Maura pulled up to the scene, she saw Frost to the side with his head between his knees. As soon as they got within ten feet of the house, Jane figured out exactly why Frost had probably just lost his breakfast.

"Oh, Jesus Good God," Jane said, crinkling her nose and trying to immediately start breathing out of her mouth. Maura handed her the Vicks rub she kept in her body examination bag. Jane gratefully took it and put a thin layer under her nose. She usually never had to use that stuff but knew this time if she didn't, she and Frost would be dueling for the title of who could puke the furthest.

"You need some of this Korsak?" Jane asked, holding up the jar.

He scoffed. "Wuss."

She smiled and shook her head.

"What do we have?" she asked, as Maura walked into the house ahead of her. Jane's eyes started to water the closer she got to the door. "Jesus," she muttered to herself.

"Mailman went to ring the bell due to the fact that the mail hadn't been picked up. The smell as he got up here alerted him something may be amiss and he looked in the window and saw the body on the floor. It ain't pretty in there, Rizzoli. No forced entry, there's probably a GSW somewhere on the corpse. We know it's a guy, Jack Harrington."

"How do we know that?" she asked, walking through the threshold, surveying the room as Korsak followed on her heels.

Korsak held out the guy's wallet. Jane looked at the ID and checked it against various photos in the house. She steeled herself and knelt down across from Maura to look at the body. From what she could see of the facial features, it looked like an ID match.

"This look like the same guy to you?" Jane asked Maura, holding up the identification.

Maura went back and forth a few times between the face and the ID.

"Well?"

"It could be. There's a lot of decomposition here. I'd need to - "

"Yeah, I know - confirm it. Okay, if you had to make a guess - "

"I don't guess."

Jane sighed and rolled her eyes.

"MAURA! Please."

Maura cracked a smile. "I'd say the chances are pretty good it's the same guy. I'll know for sure later."

"How long's he been dead?"

"Judging by the odor and the stage of the decomposition, I'd say between five and six days."

"You're guessing?" Jane asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm making a scientific hypothesis."

"No, you're making me crazy! That's a fancy name for a guess."

Maura looked up, her annoyance starting to show by the way she narrowed her eyes at Jane. "Rizzoli, don't you have something else you could be doing around here," Maura said, sweeping her arm in dramatic fashion to indicate other parts of the room.

Jane looked stunned for a minute at the use of her last name then broke into a big smile.

"As a matter of fact, Dr. Isles, I do," Jane said, putting on her best hoity-toity accent. She rose back to a standing position, laughing, before gently placing her hand on Maura's head as she walked by her to get a pair of gloves.

Maura smiled and watched Jane for a minute as she sauntered around the room. Traces of her friend were starting to shine through - traces she wasn't sure she'd ever see again. She looked back down at the body, able to work undistracted. She found the gunshot wound at the back of the head.

"Jane, there is a GSW, at the back of the head. It wasn't at a very close distance though. In fact, it looks like a very precise shot from a very far distance," Maura said.

Jane knelt down next to her to inspect the wound. "This looks like the mark of a sniper rifle. Hey Frost, over by that window, do you see any broken glass?" Jane asked, pointing to indicate the front window.

"Nope, but let me check the other ones," he said.

"No, it would have had to come from that one," she said, getting up to inspect it herself. She didn't see any broken glass, but she took a very close look at the window.

"Look, see? Right there," she said, showing Frost a small hole in the screen and glass.

"Why is there no broken glass then?"

"Officer," Jane said, beckoning over a uniformed cop. "Let me see your flashlight please?"

The uniform dutifully handed over the light. Jane knelt down and shined it around on the floor, as she suspected, a few feet from the window was where the glass had landed.

"The force and speed of the bullet forced the glass to fly upon impact," Maura chimed in, getting up to see where the glass was. She eyed the distance from the window to the broken glass to the position of the body. "Also, look at the trajectory. This wasn't a straight shot, but someone aiming down from a window or something. I'll be able to better tell that when I do the autopsy."

"I think we need to pay a visit to the house across the street," Frost said.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

I'm Trying - Chapter 3

Disclaimer: : I don't own any of the characters from Rizzoli and Isles - the credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm merely borrowing them for a fan fiction idea. I've seen a lot of story alerts and favorite story alerts (which warm my heart!) and those are great and so appreciated, but please also review! :-) Thanks.

"So you didn't see anything strange around here five or six nights ago, or even more recently than that?" Jane asked the resident of the house across the street, Rick Talson.

"No, Detective, I didn't. I typically work during the day, but have been covering a nightshift for the last two weeks for staff vacations," he said, yawning as the insistent ringing of the doorbell had pulled him out of sleep.

"What do you do Mr. Talson?"

"Shift-manager for Kelly Drugs."

"We'd be able to verify that information?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"How well did you know Mr. Harrington?" Jane asked.

"Pretty well. I mean, he was a decent guy. He wasn't overly friendly but once he got to know you, he would open up. We shared a few beers together. He was divorced. Wife took off with a younger guy and I think she was trying to get some kind of financial settlement from him."

Jane and Frost exchanged glances.

"What's the wife's name?" Frost asked.

"Grace."

It was well after seven o'clock when the detectives were starting to wrap up at the scene. They took plaster casts of footprints they had found by a tree in the backyard of the house across the street. Talson had been very cooperative and upon inspecting all of the poor schmuck's shoes, Jane deduced that he probably wasn't the sniper - the shooter's feet were at least two sizes bigger.

"Frost, we need to go through all the papers on his divorce," Jane said, rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah, Korsak and I can handle the first part of that. Why don't you come back when you are fresh tomorrow. It's your first day back and it's been a long one."

"Yeah, I'm pretty beat. Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Don't worry, I'll keep you updated, ok?"

"Okay. Thanks."

"Jane, it's good to have you back," he said, turning to head to Harrington's desk to start looking through the papers.

She smiled and headed out, finding Maura waiting by the car.

"Are you all set?" Jane asked.

"Yes. I've been done for a while. The body is back at the morgue. I will start the autopsy tomorrow morning, first thing."

...

Jane finally got back to her apartment after eight thirty. Exhausted, she turned down Maura's offer of dinner. All she wanted to do was crawl into her bed - the need for sleep far surpassing the need for food. She took off her jacket and her hand grazed the white envelope from her desk that she had stuck in there on her way out.

She put it on her nightstand, changed into pajamas and crawled into bed. She reached over and took the card out of the envelope.

"Christ, Maura, if this is sappy..." she said aloud in a very empty threat, looking at the picture of the brilliant sunrise on the front of the card before opening it.

Expecting some Hallmark-type sugary sweetness, she was surprised to find it blank save for Maura's swirly, yet precise penmanship.

_Dear Jane,_

_Every new day brings new challenges. I know today will be a challenge for you but I want you to know that I will be here for you as you face it head-on. We can't forget the sorrows of our yesterdays but we can try to make our tomorrows happier and better than our todays. Each day will get better, it'll just take some time. _

_As always, Jane, I'll be here. _

_Love,  
Maura_

Jane looked back at the front of the card again, trying desperately not to let the tears that seemed to be waiting just at the precipice of her eyes come down in the deluge they were threatening. She failed.

Through her tears, though, she heard herself laugh. "Damnit Maura! I knew it would be sappy," she said, placing the card next to her on the bed and turning out the light. Besides being a bit playfully miffed her friend's words had made her cry, she also knew it was the most heartfelt card she'd ever received.

...

Jane's phone came alive with the "Funeral March" ringtone and the buzz vibration while sitting on her desk. Putting down her coffee, she answered.

"Hey, Maura, how are you?"

"I'm okay, how are you? Did you get some rest?

"I'm good. I was asleep when my head hit the pillow. Hey, I wanted to thank you for the card - what you wrote was, well, beautiful. It was the nicest card I've ever gotten. I'm glad I read it at home, though, because of course you had to go and make me cry!" Jane said, her voice getting loud to emphasize the last part of her statement. In a gentler, softer voice - "But thank you. I really do appreciate it."

She heard Maura softly laugh. "I told you that it was probably a good idea for you to read it at home. You're welcome. I hope you know that I meant every word of it."

"I do."

There was a moment of appreciative silence.

"So, I'm about ready to start the autopsy, if you wanted to come down."

Silence.

"Jane? Did you hear me?"

More silence.

"JANE!"

"Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry, Maura. I'll send Frost down. I need to head over to Harrington's house to continue looking over his documents," Jane said.

"Frost? Jane, he'll probably start vomiting," Maura protested, sounding like a child.

Just then, Jane spotted Korsak. "I'll send Korsak down. Relay any pertinent info to him, okay? I'm sorry but I need to go."

Maura hung up the phone, giving it a strange look. She couldn't believe Jane was not going to come down for the autopsy - that was unlike her.

"Hey Korsak. Can you go down for the autopsy? I was going to head over to Harrington's house to help with going through the documents."

"Oh, we're done. We found the divorce papers and all that. Did you even notice the file on your desk?"

She looked around, finally spotting the manila folder.

"Shit. No, I hadn't. What did you find out?" she asked, opening the folder.

"Talson was accurate. The wife was trying to pinch Harrington for money. We need to go talk to Grace Harrington - so go check out the autopsy and then we'll go find her."

"Where's Frost?" Jane asked.

"Sent him home to get some rest. He wrapped it up there around four-thirty. But he'll be back to go with you to find Grace."

"Can you go to the autopsy?"

Korsak studied her for a minute, suspicious of the way she avoided his eyes. He perched on the edge of her desk. "What's going on? Since when do you shy away from an autopsy?"

"Come on, Korsak, I don't want to make a big deal of this."

"I thought you two were okay?" Korsak prompted.

She looked at him, confused.

"You and Maura, I thought you guys were okay."

She rubbed her eyes. "What? We are. Nevermind, I'll go," she said, grabbing her cup of coffee.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure, Korsak."

Jane stood at the elevator, just staring at the buttons. "Every new day brings new challenges, right?" she said aloud to herself, remembering the card Maura gave her, as she hit the button for the morgue.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

I'm Trying - Chapter 4

Disclaimer: : I don't own any of the characters from Rizzoli and Isles - the credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm merely borrowing them for a fan fiction idea. Thank you to all who have reviewed and set this story into your alerts and favorite alerts - it is very appreciated! Thanks! rutgers

**A/N - Total guesses on pretty much all the crime stuff! **

Jane could feel herself starting to break out in a cold sweat as the elevator doors opened on the morgue floor. She began to feel dizzy and walked slowly toward the morgue. Just outside the doors, she leaned against the wall for support. She closed her eyes.

"Jane?"

She opened her eyes to see Maura.

"Yeah. Korsak and Frost couldn't come down, so you got me," Jane said, still leaning against the wall and making no apparent effort to move from her position.

"What is it, do you feel sick?" Maura asked, taking note of Jane's grey pallor.

Jane looked up at the ceiling, swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "I can't. I can't go in there, Maura, I can't," she said, her emotions gripping her tightly, tears streaming down her face as she started to slide down the wall.

Maura was confused for a minute until it dawned on her - Jane would be walking into the room where she last saw Frankie alive before she was dragged out to the street by Marino.

"Oh, God. Jane, it's okay. It's okay," she murmured, kneeling down to embrace Jane. "You don't have to, okay? You don't have to."

She sobbed like a baby in her best friend's arms, pulling her closer to her and burying her face in her shoulder. All Jane wanted to do right now was hide from the world.

Maura was grateful it wasn't a well-traveled hallway at this time, she knew Jane would not want anyone feeling sorry for her and wouldn't want to see the expressions of pity on people's faces. She wouldn't want anyone to see Jane like that because she knew how uncomfortable it would be for her. Maura was rocking Jane in her arms just trying to soothe her.

"Okay, come on, Sweetie - let's get you to the bathroom to clean up a little bit. You don't have to be here, okay? Come on," Maura said softly, helping Jane up and to the private bathroom in the hall.

Jane braced herself against the sink with both arms, her head down, the tears still coming. Maura swallowed hard, trying to contain her own emotions at seeing her friend so upset. She came up behind Jane, gently rubbing her back. She felt Jane stiffen in almost the same way she had when Maura touched her shoulder in the hospital on that awful Saturday afternoon when she blamed her for Frankie's death. But almost instantaneously her body relaxed and she took a few deep breaths, putting her hand up to let Maura know to back off just a little bit.

"Please, just give me a minute," Jane said, turning on the water.

"Here, take this?" Maura said, handing her the scrunchy she had around her wrist in preparation to tie her hair back before starting the autopsy.

Jane gratefully took it, putting her hair up and splashing her face several times with water.

"God, I look like complete and utter shit," Jane said, looking in the mirror, still trying to collect her emotions.

"Not even on your worst day, my friend."

Jane gave her a slight smile while looking in the mirror. "I can't go in there."

"I know. It's okay, Jane. You don't have to, okay? Everything will be in my report and we can meet later to go over it all."

"Thanks."

"You should probably get going on it. I'll be okay. I'm just going to freshen up a bit more before heading back upstairs, though Korsak will probably call me out for looking like hell," Jane said, taking Maura's scrunchy out of her hair and handing it back.

"Dinner tonight, okay? We can discuss the findings," Maura asked, hopefully.

Jane nodded. Maura gave her a quick smile and headed out, sensing she needed to be alone. Two minutes later, another quick knock on the door. "Occupied," Jane shouted.

"It's me. Here, take these," Maura said, handing Jane two slices of cold cucumber. "Put them on your eyes, it will take away the puffiness."

Jane looked at them for a minute then shot a glance at Maura.

Maura sighed, rolled her eyes and smiled. "Jane, cold air is cold air, how many times do we need to have this discussion? But for your information they are from the good fridge," she said, putting air quotes around `good'.

Jane laughed and shook her head. "Thanks. Now go on so I can lock this door so no one barges in here and sees me looking like hell with these things on my face."

Maura turned and headed back to the autopsy room.

...

After five minutes of feeling like a class A jerk while she waited with the cucumber on her eyes, Jane headed back upstairs - but not before looking in the mirror. "I'll be damned, that actually does work," she said aloud, before leaving the bathroom and heading back up to her desk.

As she turned the corner into the bullpen, she was surprised to see her mother sitting at her desk, waiting for her. "Great," she said to herself. "So much for not wanting anyone to know I was bawling my eyes out."

...

Maura made quick work of the autopsy. It really was just a single sniper shot that killed Jack Harrington but the bullet had done a lot of damage to the head and the body hadn't been found for so long that the decomposition made things look a lot more complicated than they actually were. Her original assessment was right in the trajectory of the bullet and the angle it had entered the head and brain, seeming it was more than likely the shot had come from the suspected tree across the street.

As she closed up the body, she thought back to Jane and she felt sadness.

...

Jane and Angela sat in the coffee shop downstairs.

"You've been crying, Sweetie," Angela said, sipping her coffee.

Jane debated even trying to lie as she swigged her own cup of joe. "Yeah, I had a spell downstairs. It hits me every now and then, sometimes when I least expect it. I know I haven't been to the house in a week, but I'll come this weekend, I promise. How are you guys doing?"

"We go day by day too, Janie. It's been hard. Your father has thrown himself into work. I know he'd love it if you came around a little more often. I would too."

"I know, Ma. I'm sorry. You know, you guys could come to my place for Sunday dinner," Jane suggested.

"You'd cook?"

Jane laughed. "No. You could use my kitchen."

Angela reached out and took Jane's hand. "I know our first Sunday dinner without Frankie will be so difficult," she said, her voice breaking. "We've all been putting it off."

"Ma, please. Don't. Don't do this. You know he'd want us to continue to have them," Jane said.

Angela's tears starting falling. Jane came around the table, sat next to her mother and wrapped her in a hug. "Damnit, Ma, stop or I'll need to get more cucumber!"

Angela stopped sobbing for a minute and looked at Jane. "What?"

Jane started laughing and soon, Angela was too, though she wasn't really sure why exactly.

After a few minutes, Jane looked at the clock. "Ma, I gotta get back up to the pen. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes, Honey, I will. You go. Oh, why don't you invite Maura on Sunday?"

Jane smiled. "That's a good idea. You know, she doesn't have a lot of family and her parents are far away, and - " but Angela cut her off.

"You don't have to tell me why it's a good idea, Janie. We consider her a part of our family."

"Me too."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

I'm Trying - Chapter 5

Disclaimer: : I don't own any of the characters from Rizzoli and Isles - the credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm merely borrowing them for a fan fiction idea. Thank you to all who have reviewed and set this story into your alerts and favorite alerts - it is very appreciated! Thanks! rutgers

"Jax Stone? Really? Wasn't that a character on General Hospital?" Jane asked, looking at the divorce papers in the Harrington case.

"Sounds like it could be I guess. He's a named party in the divorce, so whatever was going on was happening for a while," Frost said, stifling a yawn.

"Great. We need to go see Grace Harrington - if she hasn't blown town by now," Jane said. The clicking of heels into the bullpen made her turn around.

"Hey, Maura."

"Hi. Here is my report. It was just the single shot from the sniper rifle. I dug the bullet out and it's being tested as to the exact model. Everything else was normal, all tissue samples, everything. I was right on the trajectory though, I would guess that tree is probably where the shooter had perched," Maura said, handing Jane the file.

"Okay, thanks. We are going to try our luck finding the wife now. Turns out the neighbor Talson knew exactly what he was talking about - she was seeing some dude named Jax Stone."

"Nice name."

"Right? Like out of Soap Opera Digest!" Jane exclaimed.

Maura laughed softly and then turned to head back out.

"Catch ya tonight, okay?"

She turned. "Yes."

...

"Jack is, dead?" Grace Harrington said, nearly collapsing into a heap. Luckily, Jane was quick and agile and able to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Frost, help me," she growled, trying to get the woman over to the couch. He was dragging a bit from being up so late the previous night or going to bed so early the current morning, but Jane's tone snapped him to attention.

"Ma'am, can I get you some water?"

She sat, trying her best to appear stunned. "No, Detective. Thank you. God, I can't believe this. We were in the middle of a divorce, but I'd never want anything bad to happen to him."

Thinking back to what she had read in the divorce papers, Jane stifled the urge to roll her eyes.

"What is the nature of your relationship with Jax Stone?" Frost asked.

"He was a mistake," she spat, bitterly.

Jane and Frost exchanged momentarily confused glances.

"Um, can you please be a bit more detailed, Ms. Harrington?" Jane said, taking a seat next to her on the couch.

Silence. Followed by a long, drawn out sigh and the wringing of hands. Frost observed Jane's right leg starting to tap rapidly, a sign her patience level was quickly dwindling.

"Ms. Harrington, can you please respond to Detective Rizzoli's request for details?"

"Yes, I had an affair with Jax. That's what you want to know, isn't it?"

"There's more to it," Jane said. "And we need to know what."

"I met Jax four years ago. He was a new landscaper we had hired. Jack and I had been married for twenty years at the time. Jax was a startlingly-handsome young man. God, it sounds so cliché, I can't even believe it's coming out of my mouth," she said, shaking her head.

"Please continue," Jane prompted, noting that there still had been no tears shed for Jack.

"We carried on a torrid affair for two years behind Jack's back. It's your classic story, Detective Rizzoli. He came home early from work and found us together. He was extremely upset, as I'm sure you can imagine."

Jane wasn't much caring for her tone. She sounded so blasé about the fact her husband of twenty years caught her cheating, like it was no big deal.

"So, Jack then filed for divorce, naming Jax as a cause for the destruction of the marriage."

"Which would be in his right - you are admitting you were the adulterer. The divorce papers say you are trying to extract a financial settlement."

"You haven't seen the amended documentation, Detectives," Grace said, standing up to retrieve a file from her locked desk drawer.

She wordlessly handed the file to Jane and sat back down next to her. Frost watched Jane's eyes go wide as she scanned the contents of the file. The file from a private detective showed photos dated two years before Grace Harrington's affair - of Jack Harrington and a young blonde having many intimate moments. Jane handed the file to Frost to review.

"So you weren't going to file for divorce upon learning this information? You obviously had this for two years before you met Jax."

"Jack never even knew I had it - not until he filed for divorce and tried to shut me out financially. I had never confronted him with it. Our marriage became one of convenience, Detectives."

Jane shook her head, as something just wasn't adding up. "What did you mean, then, when you said Jax was a mistake."

"Oh, he was. He didn't care about me. He cared about money," she said, gesturing to the large house with a sweep of her arm. "When he figured out that I probably wouldn't be able to get a settlement from Jack, based on the affair, he dropped me. I never really trusted him though - that's the reason I didn't introduce that file to my lawyer until Jax was gone from the picture."

"You haven't had any contact with Jax lately?"

"No. I haven't seen or spoken to him in over a year."

Grace stopped for a minute, looking at her hands. Jane paid particular attention to that because it was something she found herself doing often.

"Detectives, my love for Jack has been gone for a long time. A part of me will always have some feeling for him because we shared our lives together for so long but I honestly can't say I still love him. I stopped loving him the day the private detective presented those photos to me. But I want to know what happened to him - he didn't deserve to be killed."

"As far as we know Ma'am, he died from a gunshot wound to the head. It was from a far distance, most likely from a sniper rifle," Jane said.

She watched Grace Harrington's eyes well with tears. "You need to find Jax Stone."

"We plan to Ma'am, but tell me why you're saying that."

"He's an expert hunter and he owns a sniper rifle."

...

"Well, what do you think?" Frost asked, closing the passenger-side door.

Jane slammed her door shut, putting the file Grace Harrington had given them in the cubby on the car door. "Honestly, Frost, I was pretty sure the wife and soap opera boy had concocted the plot together. Now, I don't think she was in on it."

"But why would he kill him if they were broken up already?"

"Yeah, I keep coming back to that too. Maybe it was something between the two of them, not even having anything to do with Grace Harrington. Is there a name on that other woman that Jack was photographed with?"

Frost grabbed the file. "Yeah, Bonnie Merrill."

"Let's go back and see if we can find anything on her. We may need to tear through Jack's papers again too, see if we can find anything. Maybe he was still seeing her."

...

As Jane and Frost headed into the precinct, they ran into Maura.

"Hey," Jane said, motioning for Frost to continue on in without her.

"Hi. How are you doing?"

"Better. Thank you for this morning, I completely melted down."

"Jane, it was a completely normal response. I'm sorry about even asking you to come down for the autopsy. I should have realized."

"I guess it's something I'll have to do sooner or later, but for right now, I want it to be later. I just can't right now."

Maura gently touched her arm. "I know. It's okay. Have you had lunch yet?"

"No. And I have a lot of work to do so I probably won't get to today."

"You can't do that. I'll bring you something back, ok?"

Jane silently nodded.

"Okay then, see you in a bit," Maura said, starting to walk off.

"Wait," Jane said, watching Maura turn back toward her. "Thank you."

Maura smiled at her friend and headed down the street to pick up some food.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

I'm Trying - Chapter 6

Disclaimer: : I don't own any of the characters from Rizzoli and Isles - the credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm merely borrowing them for a fan fiction idea. Thank you to all who have reviewed and set this story into your alerts and favorite alerts - it is very appreciated! Thanks! rutgers

"Neither Bonnie Merrill nor Jax Stone have criminal records," Frost said, as Jane haphazardly threw her blazer over the back of her chair.

She stared at him. "As much as it unnerves me when you eye me up like that, Rizzoli, I can almost see the damn wheels in your head spinning. What are you thinking?" Frost asked.

"You have an address on her yet?"

"Yeah, it's in the amended documents that were filed."

"Well, what the hell are we waiting for? Let's move it Frost."

...

Outside the precinct doors, Jane and Frost again ran into Maura. Jane saw she was carrying a bag from their favorite little lunch spot, Gennaro's.

"Oh, that is my mozzarella and roasted red pepper panini, isn't it?" Jane asked, wishing right now she could just take a quick break to eat.

"It is, indeed," Maura said, handing the bag to her. "There's also an iced tea."

Jane tossed the keys to Frost. "You're driving, I'm eating."

"Maura, thank you," Jane said, quickly hugging her and jetting down the steps before quickly turning. "Oh, later at dinner, I need to talk to you about something."

And with that, she and Frost were in the car.

Maura hated, absolutely hated, when she left her with a cliffhanger statement like that. It usually had to do with some kind of cockamamie idea Jane drummed up that she thought would be fun, but then something ends up inevitably going comically wrong.

...

"You want to tell me what exactly you're thinking?" Frost asked. "I mean, when you're done tearing into that thing."

Jane shot him a glare as she hurriedly chewed her panini.

"Jesus, Rizzoli, you got cheese and whatever else hanging from your face."

She swigged her iced tea and proceeded to wipe her face.

"Really, that's attractive. And you aren't dating anyone?"

" No, Romeo, I'm currently free - why, you interested? You want a chance at all of this?" she asked, smirking as she indicated herself with a sweeping gesture of her hand.

They exchanged glances and broke up laughing.

"Seriously though, as for Bonnie Merrill. I don't know. We need to talk to her but I'm getting a feeling about something. I want to see what shakes out. I'm wondering if she and Harrington were still dating or even if she has any connection to Stone."

"Oh, that's an interesting angle."

...

Bonnie Merrill sat on her couch, trying to process what Jane had just said. "Jack is dead? Oh my God." And there were tears, which Jane actually believed were genuine.

"When was the last time you saw Jack Harrington?" Frost asked.

"About eight days ago. We had dinner together, here. He stayed the night," she said, looking away shyly. "Until that though, we hadn't seen each other in quite a few months."

Jane observed her. Bonnie was a pretty girl, blonde and young - at least 15 years younger than Harrington.

"Why not?"

"Jack wanted to play it low key because of the divorce and what had recently been introduced into evidence."

"You mean the private detective's file that Grace Harrington had submitted?" Jane prompted, looking through her notes.

"Yes."

Frost looked around the living room, stopping at a photo on the mantle - of Bonnie and a guy who looked a lot like Jax Stone, only with blonde hair. He picked it up and took it over to Jane. Jane looked at him in disbelief.

"Who is this in the photo with you, Ms. Merrill?"

"My ex-boyfriend, Dave. Why?"

"When's the last time you saw Dave?"

"I guess about a month ago. He travels a lot for work."

"What does he do?" Frost asked.

"He's on the boats all the time - he's a fisherman."

"His hair still blonde?" Jane asked.

"It's always been blonde, Detective. I'm sorry, I'm a little confused here. Why exactly are you asking about Dave?" Bonnie asked, starting to show a slight bit of agitation.

"How long ago did you break up?" Jane asked, ignoring the question.

There it was, the eye shift. Jane would have caught it a mile away. "Officially, a year ago. But we still, um, kinda see each other once in awhile," she said, not holding the detectives' gazes.

Jane and Frost exchanged a quick glance and he indicated to her to continue the questioning. "See each other? I take it you mean a physical relationship?"

Bonnie sighed and nodded.

"So, you were actually seeing Jack and Dave at the same time. You've been seeing Jack for six years? How long were you with Dave?" Frost asked.

"Two years. And yes, but Jack was much more sporadic because of his wife. We only saw one another two, maybe three times a month," Bonnie said, seemingly trying to justify her actions.

"I need his last name, Ms. Merrill, and what boat he's on."

"His last name is Jackston and he's on the Brilliant Blue Marlin, out of the harbor."

"Does he hunt, Ms. Merrill?" Frost asked.

"Yes. Oh God," she said, finally understanding the conclusion to which the detectives were coming. "Detectives, Dave doesn't have it in him to do this. He's such a gentle guy. He wouldn't hurt anyone."

Jane pulled the photo of Jax that Grace had given them from the file and held it up to Bonnie. Her eyes grew wide and she mutely nodded at Jane. "That's him - but, wait, how do you have this photo and his hair -" Bonnie started but Jane unceremoniously cut her off.

"Since you are still in contact with him, you need to come with us while we try to locate him," Jane said.

Bonnie sighed and went with the detectives.

...

Once back at the precinct, Jane put Bonnie in an interrogation room. They still had to break the news to her that Dave was two-timing her with Grace Harrington, but the first order of business was to find Dave Jackston.

Jane and Maura were heading out again to the harbor when Jane's cell began playing the "Funeral March". `Shit, this is depressing, I really need to change this ringtone,' she thought to herself.

"Hey, Maur. What's up?"

"How are you doing on the case?"

"I think we are on our way to pick up the suspect right now. We have a great lead. I'll explain it all later at dinner," she said, looking at her watch. "Damn, it's already two-thirty. It's probably going to be a later dinner."

"I was thinking we should go to Union Oyster House tonight, I've been craving it!"

"They are only open till nine-thirty tonight. Not sure if I'll be able to make that happen."

"Oh, well, of course we can go somewhere else if needed."

"Thanks again for lunch, that panini hit the spot. It's been a hell of a day," Jane said, sounding weary and tired. Maura knew though, that there was nothing else that Jane would rather be doing right now.

...

Jane and Frost approached the Brilliant Blue Marlin, encountering the boat's skipper, Russ Nivens, on the dock.

"Hi. How goes the fishing?" Jane asked, smiling at the captain.

"Ma'am, Sir, " he acknowledged. "It's been a bit slow. Getting ready to head out again though."

"How long were you out your last go round?"

"Fifteen days. We've been docked for the last nine now, getting ready to go back out see what we can't bring in."

Jane quickly did the math in her head - Bonnie saw Jack eight days ago, Dave had been back in town for nine days. He goes to see Bonnie, finds them together, kills Jack three days later. The whole thing made perfect sense.

"I'm Detective Rizzoli and this is Detective Frost," Jane said, flashing her badge. "Dave Jackston on your boat right now?"

"Yeah, he's right there," Nivens said, pointing to a guy on the deck.

"Great, thanks."

"Sure." And with that Nivens went back to what he was doing. He turned back to ask the detectives what they wanted with Jackston, but they were already gone and on the boat.

"Dave Jackston?" Frost said, approaching.

"Yeah," he said, not paying attention as he was finishing up his duties.

"We need you to come with us, please."

...

Once in the interrogation room, Jackston confessed to the murder of Jack Harrington - pretty much confirming Jane's theory of how it had all went down.

...

"Great, we will be mired in paperwork from now till next week," Jane said, sitting back at her desk after having Jackston processed.

"I think you have dinner plans, right? I can handle the paperwork."

"Really? You wouldn't mind?"

"Nah. Jane, you were really brilliant today. I'm really glad to have you back."

"Thanks, Frost."

...

"You won't believe this, but we are actually done. We can make the Oyster House if you still want to go there," Jane said into her phone, running into Korsak.

"Nice work, Rizzoli. Frost just told me about the Harrington case," Korsak said, slapping her shoulder.

"Hey, thanks Vince."

"Sorry, Maura, anyway, that still work for you?"

"Yes, that would be great. I can meet you upstairs."

"Okay."

...

Jane took a long swig of her beer as she and Maura sat across from one another, digging into their appetizer plate of clams.

"So, you had me wondering all day long. What did you want to talk to me about?" Maura asked.

"Oh. This morning, my mother came to see me - she was at my desk when I came back upstairs after, well, you know," Jane said.

Maura simply nodded.

"Right. Anyway, um, we are going to have Sunday dinner this week."

"Oh, Jane, that's ... I'm glad that your family is going to keep that tradition. I know it'll be hard."

Jane gave her a slight smile. "I think we're going to do it at my apartment. Maybe it's time to change it, ya know? I think it'll be too much for it to be at the house."

"You are going to cook?" Maura asked, smiling. In return, she got a sarcastic raised eyebrow.

"Really, Maura? I would never try to cook Italian food for my mother - my God, I couldn't imagine the criticism," Jane said, launching into a dead-on impression of her mother. "_This isn't al dente, Jane. What is this gravy, oh my God, a travesty, you call yourself Italian? _Yeah, no."

Maura rolled her eyes at her and laughed. "You do a great impression of her."

"Many long years of practice. Anyway, you know, you are considered family and we'd really, really love it if you would come on Sunday."

Maura was stunned. It wasn't that she hadn't been to Rizzoli Sunday Family Dinners before, because she had been to plenty - but it was to be a new, raw thing for the family - and she felt honored to be asked. She knew how hard it would be for them without Frankie.

"I can see you analyzing it, Maura. Don't. You know we are like sisters and my parents absolutely adore you. You are a part of the family and you should be there."

"Thank you. Yes, of course. Of course I will be there. Just tell me what I can do to help or what I can bring."

Jane noticed Maura's eyes getting watery.

"Oh, come on, Really? You're going to cry now?" Jane said, smiling.

"I'm not crying, my ocular structures are irritated."

"There is nothing in your eye."

Maura looked at her, stunned she knew to what the phrase referred.

"Hey, don't look at me like that! I told you before I can Google too!"

TBC

**A/N: Now that the crime aspect is over (phew!) I can get on with the rest of this! Probably winding down in another few chapters - just a few more things to tackle. **


	7. Chapter 7

I'm Trying - Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Rizzoli and Isles - the credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm merely borrowing them for a fan fiction idea. Thank you to all who have reviewed and set this story into your alerts and favorite alerts - it is very appreciated! Thanks! rutgers

Jane and Maura finished up their dinner at the Oyster House.

"So, what can I bring to Sunday dinner?" Maura asked.

"Just bring yourself."

"Jane, no - I'm bringing something. How about wine, then?"

"Sure, that's fine," Jane said, smiling and rolling her eyes.

They were walking out to their respective cars in the parking lot when Maura turned to Jane, gently grabbing her arm to make her turn to face her. "You know, I'm proud of you."

Jane looked at her for a moment, her eyes narrowing in question. "Um, thank you, I guess. But for what?"

Maura thought for a minute about how to express her thought. "You're back on the job two days, Jane, and you've already brilliantly solved a murder. You are such a strong woman. I just wanted you to know that."

A small smile formed on Jane's lips and she felt her eyes begin to well up. "I'm trying to be strong Maura."

"You aren't just trying, Jane, you're succeeding."

"Isles, come on. If you don't stop making me cry, I swear ... " Jane said, laughing yet trying to quickly clear a tear that was threatening to make its way down her cheek.

Maura brightly smiled. "You mean lacrimate?"

"Oh. My. God. Google Mouth! Stop it!"

Maura laughed and pulled Jane, who was also laughing, into a quick hug. "Thank you," Jane said, softly, before pulling away. "Goodnight, Maur."

"Goodnight."

...

As Maura drove home, she thought about Jane. What she had said to her in the parking lot was true - she was extremely proud of her. Jane was the strongest person she'd ever known - much stronger than she would be if she were in the same position. She loved Jane's family - sadly - probably more than she loved her own. There was always such a warmth surrounding them, even when they were seemingly at wit's end with one another. She recalled one Sunday dinner in particular that stood out - Jane had even nicknamed it `The Fra Diavalo Follies.' She laughed as she thought back to that night.

_"Jane, about time you and Maura got here. Why are you so late?" Angela squawked, wiping her hands on her kitchen towel. _

_"Work, Ma. We just came from a crime scene. We can't even stay too long, there's too much work to be done," Jane replied, kissing her mom on the cheek and moving to the living room to hug her father. _

_"Hi, Angela," Maura said, hugging Jane's mom. _

_"_ _Hello, Sweetie."_

_"What can I do to help?"_

_"Can you please throw the salad together, all the ingredients are right there," Angela said, pointing to the counter." It seems my daughter has conveniently disappeared."_

_"Jesus, Ma. I didn't disappear - I hugged Pop and took a leak. That okay with you?"_

_"Jane, crude," Maura said, washing her hands. _

_Jane rolled her eyes. "Hey, this isn't gnocchi, what are you cooking?"_

_"We're trying something new tonight, shrimp fra diavalo. It's a new recipe I got."_

_"Great, a new recipe? Should we be scared?" Frankie said, strolling into the kitchen with the basketball in hand. _

_"You know, you shouldn't be such a smartass," Angela said, shaking her head and checking on the pasta. _

_"Hoops, Sis?" Frankie asked, holding up the basketball. _

_"Nah ... not today, Frankie. We just processed a crime scene and I'm kinda beat. Still have a lot to do. Next time though," Jane said, slicing up the bread to take out to the table. _

_They had finally sat down to dinner and everything looked delicious._

_Maura tried some of her food and immediately her eyes watered and she reached for her glass. _

_"Come on, Maura, you're practically a Rizzoli. Really? You can't handle the spice?" Jane said, laughing, twirling some pasta around her own fork and shoving it into her mouth. Her eyes bulged out of her head and she gulped water down faster than she ever had before. The other three Rizzoli family members had similar reactions._

_It was Maura's turn to laugh at Jane's reaction._

_"Jesus, Ma - what the hell did you put in here?"_

_"I put in what the recipe called for, a cup of crushed red pepper flakes," Angela said, fanning at her mouth. _

_Jane got up and went to the kitchen to grab the recipe book. "Ma, were you wearing your reading glasses when you were reading this recipe?"_

_"Don't be a smartass Janie," Frank chimed in. _

_"Pop, I'm not. I'm being serious."_

_"No, I wasn't, I don't need them."_

_"Well, you'd better look again at this recipe."_

_Angela took the book and held it up close to her face, her eyes widening with realization. _

_"Oh my God. A quarter cup? How did I not see that?"_

_"Really?" Jane said, throwing up her hands. _

_Frankie, still laughing, went and retrieved several bottles of cold water from the fridge and placed them in the middle of the table. "Guess we'll be needing these."_

Maura laughed, remembering they'd each drank about three bottles of water trying to get through dinner. She also remembered observing that from then on, whenever Angela Rizzoli had a cookbook out on the counter, her reading glasses were always hanging around her neck.

She was honored to be invited for Sunday, but she knew it wouldn't be like it was before. The thought saddened her - but there was no way in hell she wouldn't be there. She needed to be there - for Jane, for the Rizzoli family - hell - for HER family. Because that was what they were.

...

The next two days went by uneventfully. Thursday night, Jane sat on her couch, nursing a bottle of beer and looking through an old photo album. She put her beer down on her coffee table when she came across a picture of she and Frankie when they were kids one Halloween. She was nine and he was five and they were both dressed up like cops. She laughed, remembering her mom being mortified that she wanted to be a police officer for Halloween and not a princess, fairy or witch like the other girls.

Frankie's smile was so wide, he was an adorable kid and Jane's heart ached in her chest when she thought about him. She hadn't told Maura, but Tuesday night, after the case was solved, she dialed his cell phone to tell him the news, like she always had done when she solved a case. For a moment in time, she had forgotten. It was only when she heard his recorded message - "Hey, it's Frankie, you know the routine - I'll call ya back" - that she remembered. She longed to hear his voice right now. She picked up her phone and dialed his number, her eyes welling up with tears as she once again listened to the greeting.

...

Friday morning, Jane awoke at five a.m. She was unable to sleep any longer so she got up, hopped in a shower and headed to work to finish up some lingering paperwork from the case. Plus, she still had a ton of email to go through from her leave - pertaining to insurance and the like.

The bullpen was quiet when she walked in, throwing her blazer over her chair. She liked being there sometimes in the peaceful serenity of the very early morning. Only sometimes though - most of the time she enjoyed her sleep - but lately, that hadn't been the case.

She sat down, sipping her coffee - knowing there was something she needed to do. Jane knew she had to get this out of the way or else she wasn't going to be very effective in doing her job, at least not the way she was accustomed to doing it before her world had come crashing down around her. With a heavy sigh, she grabbed her coffee cup and strode to the elevator, hitting the button for the morgue. Her heart rate quickened as she stepped into the elevator.

...

Jane steeled herself as the elevator finally came to a halt at the floor. She stepped out - the elevator doors closing behind her sounding like a steel door slamming shut. She willed herself to go on and made her way down the hall. As she got to the door of the morgue, she felt her legs start to go weak.

"Shit," she said aloud to herself, clumsily groping for the rolling chair that Maura always sat in when she was internet shoe-shopping She managed to sit down before her legs completely gave out, nearly spilling her coffee on herself. "Come on, Rizzoli, pull your fuckin' shit together. You can't be a goddamned detective without coming to the morgue."

Sitting in the chair, she used her legs to slowly get herself to the autopsy table on which she had last seen Frankie alive. She could see everything that happened, just as if it was happening right now - Frankie squeezing her hand tightly, Frankie saying he couldn't take a deep breath when Maura used her stethoscope, Frankie calling for her as Maura had urged her with her eyes to come away from the table to tell her how bad a shape he was in, Frankie coughing up blood, Frankie yelling out when Maura had inserted the tube in his side, Frankie weakly yelling out her name and his eyes flashing with anger and fear when Bobby Marino wrapped his arm around her neck, dragging her out of the room - all of it came flooding back to her. She gently placed her hand upon the table and let the deluge of tears flow freely down her face, lowering her head onto her hand.

...

Maura turned the corner to enter the dimly-lit morgue when she was startled to see the figure sitting by the autopsy table. She knew it was Jane in an instant. She leaned up against the door frame, silently watching as Jane poured out her grief through a river of tears and body-wracking sobs. Maura's own emotions overtook her and she put her hand to her mouth so her low sobs wouldn't be heard as the tears streamed silently down her face.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

I'm Trying - Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Rizzoli and Isles - the credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm merely borrowing them for a fan fiction idea. Thank you to all who have reviewed and set this story into your alerts and favorite alerts - it is very appreciated! Thanks! rutgers

**To dez:** Thank you and yeah ... maybe dreams can come true - maybe you can tell me how that came about! Shoot me an email if you get the chance! That would just be crazy awesome! :-) - rutgers

Maura watched Jane for a few minutes, silently debating whether to approach her to comfort her or to let her be - maybe she needed and wanted to do this privately. Neither her tears, nor her wracking sobs were subsiding. Maura couldn't stand seeing this and quietly slipped backward into the hallway, stopping only when she heard her name in between sobs. She looked in again to see Jane looking at the doorway.

Maura wiped her eyes but she knew Jane would definitely know she'd been crying. She approached Jane slowly.

"I, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude on you, Jane, I was just coming down and - " Maura started but Jane cut her off.

"It's fine. You've seen me at every low point of my life, this is no different. You are probably getting sick of it by now," Jane said, still looking at the autopsy table. Her crying, for the most part, had subsided.

Maura came up behind her and placed both hands on her shoulders and gently kissed the top of her head. "Listen to me - I'm not. You've been through so much, okay, and everything you are going through is natural. All I want is to be here for you to help you."

Jane, spinning the chair to face Maura, laughed bitterly. "And just the other night you were telling me how strong I am. Guess you can take that back. I'm _not_ strong, Maura, in fact, I've never felt so goddamned weak in my whole life."

"You're angry."

If looks could actually kill, Maura was pretty sure the glare that Jane just shot her way would have impaled her through the wall. Jane stood up in an almost menacingly fashion but didn't make a move to advance. Maura knew Jane would never, ever physically hurt her, but still, instinctively, she took a few steps back.

"You are goddamned right I'm angry," the detective hissed. "My little brother is gone and I can't do one fucking thing about it. Not one. So yeah, I'm angry. I'm angry Frankie had to be a cop, I'm angry I had to have him come back to headquarters with me that day, I'm angry I left my gun in the drawer, I - " suddenly she stopped, her eyes boring a hole into Maura.

"Did you just step back from me?" Jane asked, softly.

Maura looked down, nodding her head.

"And I'm angry that I've apparently frightened you," Jane said, just above a whisper, while looking down at her own feet. "I don't like who I've become."

"I know you would never hurt me, Jane. It was just instinct, okay?"

"I know it was, but the fact that my best friend felt the need to back away from me, instinct or not, for fear of being hurt - that scares me. I'm sorry."

"Do not apologize to me.

"I don't think I can be here today."

Maura didn't like the sadness in Jane's voice. "Why don't we both take the day, make a long weekend of it. We could go do something fun today," she hesitantly suggested.

Jane gave her a small smile. "Thanks, that's sweet. But I probably wouldn't be very good company. I think I just want to go home."

"Okay. But I will check on you later."

"I know. Call me when you are leaving, maybe by then I'll be in a better frame of mind and we can get pizza or something."

"Sure."

"Maur, I'm sorry. Really, I'd never, ever want you to be frightened of me," Jane said, hugging her.

"I'm not, Jane, really. I swear to you. It was just instinct," she replied, gently rubbing her back.

Jane pulled away. "I know. I just hate the fact that your instinct made you do that. I'll see you later."

Jane turned around and took one more look at the autopsy table Frankie had laid upon and then headed out the morgue and up to the bullpen.

...

Jane flipped the channels as she lounged on the couch in sweats. Cavanaugh had been great about it when she told him she couldn't be there today - even asked her if she wanted another week off. She told him that wasn't necessary and explained to him what set her off today. He completely understood and sent her home without another word about it. Frost was great too, he and Korsak just partnered up for the day.

_"Today was pretty tough, huh Sis?"_

_Jane looked up to see her handsome brother. "Frankie! Hey! Come here," she said, pulling him to sit on the couch with her and giving him a long hug. "I've missed you so much."_

_He smiled and threw his arm around her shoulders. "I know. I've missed you too. You okay?"_

_Jane gave a short laugh. "I thought I was. I thought I was doing better, Frankie. But ... not today."_

_"Yeah, I saw your two meltdowns."_

_"You mean ... "_

_"Yeah, the one in the hallway the other day too. I knew going down there would be tough for you. That's why I had to come back around. I can't come as much as I'd like to Janie, I'm busy. But when I sense you need me, I mean really need me, I'll do what I can to get here."_

_Jane didn't say anything, just nestled against her brother. _

_" What's it like, Frankie?"_

_"What's what like? Being dead?"_

_"Well, um, yeah - that and heaven. I mean, you did make it up there, right?" Jane asked, smiling and playfully elbowing her brother. _

_"Of course! It's, well, it's interesting and different. I mean, you go on, just not in the way you're used to living, ya know? I was greeted by Grandma and Pop Pop Rizzoli when I first crossed and later met up with Nana and Grandpa. I've seen Uncle Tony, Uncle Tommy - everyone. We kinda get together for our own Sunday dinners," Frankie said, smiling. _

_"Really? Wow. I'll give everyone here a hug for you. Please give them all a hug for me, okay?"_

_"Deal." _

_"What are you busy doing?"_

_"Stuff. I can't really talk about all that ... to get to see you I kinda promised I wouldn't say anything and you don't really break that kind of promise up there," he said, pointing to the ceiling. _

_Jane nodded her understanding._

_"Oh, speaking of Sunday dinner, we're having one this weekend. Maura will be coming, ya know, since she's part of the family."_

_"I think that is mutually beneficial for you guys and for Maura."_

_"It won't be the same without you," she said, dropping her head. _

_"I know," he said, and Jane could hear the sadness in his voice. "Maybe I can find a way to appear at one of those dinners."_

_"That would be great, Frankie. Oh, Ma and Pop wanted me to tell you they miss you so much and they love you. If you could stop by and see them, it would help them too."_

_"I really will try, Janie. I promise. I have to go, but as always, I love you. And you know, you'll have good days and bad days, but now, I think the majority of the days will be good ones."_

_"Frankie, sweetie, you haven't been gone that long ... I'm still dealing with all of it."_

_"I know. But you jumped a huge hurdle today - getting back down to that morgue was what I was really worried about ... and you achieved it even sooner than I thought."_

_She smiled and stood up to hug him close. _

_"I love you, Frankie. Remember to stop and see Ma and Pop," she said, kissing his cheek. _

_"I love you too and I will find a way to do that, okay? I promise."_

_"That had better be the kind of promise you don't break down here," she said into his neck._

_"It is Janie. You know how stubborn I am, I'll find a way."_

_She nodded and they separated from their embrace. She sat down on her couch and watched as he slowly turned away ._

Jane awoke with a start when some loud yelling from the television woke her up.

"Ugh, when the hell did Jerry Springer come on? What time is it?" she said aloud to herself, grabbing her phone.

She remembered the wonderful dream she just had and how these dreams or visits or whatever they were always made her feel better - like she could face the world again.

...

Maura was trying to concentrate on finishing up some lab reports, but her mind kept flashing back to Jane and the autopsy room. It bothered her that she stepped back when Jane had stood up so quickly and abruptly. She felt terrible about it - after all, Jane didn't need one more thing to feel guilty about. Her ringing phone pulled her out of thought and she answered without bothering to look at the identification screen.

"Dr. Isles."

"Hey, it's me."

Maura looked up from her paperwork and put her pen down. "Hi. Feeling better?"

"Yeah, I am, thanks. How is today going?"

"Well, thankfully it's been slow. Are you really okay?"

Silence. A sob?

"I am. I had a visit from Frankie today, Maura."

"That's wonderful and I'm glad it made you feel better! But why does it sound like you are crying?"

Jane laughed through tears. "God, because I am, I was trying to hide it. They are happy tears - I can't even believe that came out of my mouth. Happy tears. Ugh."

Maura chuckled softly. "Jane, that's a good thing!"

"I know. I actually felt good enough to get up and clean the place before the circus comes to town on Sunday."

The M.E. smiled, loving when those bright glimpses of her friend's sense of humor shone through the darkness of the recent events.

"Anyway, I know it's Friday and you may already have plans, but - " Jane started.

"I'll pick up the beer and wine on the way, you order the pizza, okay?"

Jane laughed. "Good plan."

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

I'm Trying - Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Rizzoli and Isles - the credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm merely borrowing them for a fan fiction idea. Thank you to all who have reviewed and set this story into your alerts and favorite alerts - it is very appreciated! Please read and review! Thanks!  
- rutgers

Maura hung up the phone and decided to just bag the rest of the day. The lab reports could wait until Monday and things seemed slow, besides, her assistant could handle anything that may come up if it was necessary. She gathered her belongings and headed out, stopping in the bullpen before leaving.

"Hey Doc," Frost said, looking up from his keyboard. "How's Jane doing?"

"She's okay, Barry. This morning was just tough for her."

Frost shook his head. "I can only imagine."

Maura smiled. "I'm going to head out, okay? If you need anything urgent, Lee is here and can assist you."

"Sure, Doc. Thanks. And tell Jane I said `hey'," Frost said.

"I will."

...

Jane looked around and was satisfied the cleanliness of her apartment would suit her mother. She decided a long, hot shower was in order.

...

Maura placed the beer and wine she picked up in the backseat of the car and proceeded to dial Jane's phone. She was surprised when she didn't pick up as she had just spoken to her not a half hour ago. She drove the five minutes to Jane's apartment from the liquor store and knocked on the door. She tried calling again, but still no answer. Feeling around in her Birkin bag for her keys, she fished them out and opened the door using the Boston Red Sox key Jane had given her. She remembered that conversation well.

_"Why couldn't it just be a normal key, Jane?" Maura asked, holding the Red Sox key Jane had just given her in between her thumb and index finger, looking at it with just a hint of disdain._

_"Really? Maura, have you seen how many damn keys you have on that ring? What if - "_

_"I hate what ifs."_

_Jane glared at her and sighed deeply. "Okay, say there was an emergency and you needed to get in here in a hurry. Could you really spot the right key quickly enough? Look, all mine are coded," she said, pulling out her own keys. "This Celtics one is for my parents' house, this Patriots one is for Frankie's place - " she continued but Maura stopped her._

_"Okay, okay. I'll concede the point. But your key ring is a bit tacky."_

_Jane rolled her eyes and shook her head. "And why are you holding it like that?"_

_"Like what?" Maura asked, confused._

_"Like ... that," Jane said, pointing at the key. "What you're doing. You're holding the key like it fell into a pile of dog crap!"_

_"Well, I've always been more of a Yankees fan."_

_Maura laughed out loud when Jane's jaw actually dropped. _

_"Seriously, you'd better be kidding! And how do you even know about that rivalry? It has to do with sports!"_

_Maura rolled her eyes and put the key on her ring._

Still smiling at the memory, Maura shut the door and brought the wine and beer into the kitchen.

...

Jane was in her bedroom with the hair dryer running when she heard what she thought was her front door open. She kept the dryer on in case there was an intruder and went to her bedroom door, distinctly hearing something happening with glass in her kitchen. Pulling her holstered Glock out of her bedside drawer, she picked it up and unlatched the safety. To conceal her own noise, she left the hair dryer on and opened the door to her bedroom, moving slowly along the wall.

...

Maura knelt down to clean up the little bit of wine that had spilled on the floor. As she opened the wine, the bottle had slipped a little on the counter and skittered just a bit, spilling a few drops on the ceramic tile.

...

Jane didn't see anyone as she had her gun trained on the open space of her kitchen, looking around the rest of the living room. Suddenly, movement in the kitchen caught her eye.

"Don't move!" Jane shouted.

Relief flooded her body and she released the breath she had been holding when she recognized the honey blonde hair a few seconds later.

"It's just me, Jane."

"Jesus, Maura - what the hell are you doing here?" Jane asked, lowering her gun.

"I'm sorry, I tried calling a few times to tell you I was on my way, but I got no answer so I just let myself in with the key."

"Well, you're about two hours early - and hey, yeah, what the hell are you doing here this early anyway?"

"It was slow so I called it a day!"

"Ya know, you really scared the crap out of me?" Jane said, moving her gaze to the floor. "But, after this morning, I guess we're even."

Jane went back into her bedroom to put the gun away and turn off the hair dryer.

"I'm sorry, Jane, I didn't mean to frighten you, really."

Jane leaned up against the counter and rolled her neck. "Look, Maura, about this morning - I'm really sorry. I never want you to be afraid of me, ever."

"I'm not."

"But you were."

"I knew you wouldn't hurt me."

Jane dropped her neck to look at the floor, not able to bring herself to look at Maura. "Then why did you step away from me?" she asked, her voice almost breaking.

"I told you before, Jane. Instinct - that's it." To prove her point, Maura snapped her fingers less than a centimeter from Jane's face, causing the detective to jerk her head back swiftly and clock herself on the cabinet.

"Ow, son of a bitch!" she exclaimed, rubbing the back of her head. "What was that for?"

"Did you think I was going to hurt you?"

"No."

"But your instinct made you jerk your head back. See, do you understand now? It wasn't that I thought you were going to hurt me, Jane, it was just a physical reaction."

Jane sighed. "Okay, okay, I believe you. Damn," she said, still rubbing the back of her head.

Maura smiled and hugged her. "I'm sure you're fine, Rizzoli."

"How do you know that, I clubbed it pretty good on this friggin' cabinet," Jane said, jerking her thumb toward the offending piece of wood.

"Because, you have the hardest damn head of anyone I know."

Jane tilted her head and raised her eyebrow at Maura.

"What?" Maura asked, smiling.

"Shut up," Jane said, reaching out and giving her a gentle shoulder shove.

Jane's eyes spotted the wine on the counter. "Really? You're going to start drinking now? It's three-thirty," she said, eyeing the clock.

"Jane, if you've learned _nothing_ from me in the time we've been friends, I at least hope you learned this - it is _never_ too early for a good glass of cabernet."

Jane shrugged and laughed. "Or a beer."

TBC - probably going to be wrapping this up in another chapter or so!


	10. Chapter 10

I'm Trying - Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Rizzoli and Isles - the credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm merely borrowing them for a fan fiction idea. Thank you to all who have reviewed and set this story into your alerts and favorite alerts - it is very appreciated! Please read and review! Thanks!  
- rutgers

`Please make it stop.'

That was the only thought running through Jane's head as the piercing ringtone of her cell phone blared from her nightstand. Reaching over blindly and knocking over God only knew what, her hand finally gripped the phone. "Rizzoli," she half spoke, half growled into the phone.

"We're on our way, Jane," Angela said as she and Frank loaded up a grocery bag with the ingredients needed for dinner.

Jane looked at the clock, wishing she hadn't had quite as many beers as she did the previous night at the Robber. "What? Come on, Ma, it's only what - ten o'clock? No! No," she said, running her right hand over face trying to shake off the cobwebs.

"Honey, you know the gravy is going to take a while, plus the meatballs need to be made. What are you hung over or something?" Angela asked, the sound of disapproval creeping into her voice.

"No," she lied. "I'm just tired. Okay, okay, okay. What do you need me to go get from the store?"

"Nothing, Sweetie, we have everything."

"Okay, I'm going to jump into a shower. Just use your key," Jane said, forcing herself to get up and sit on the edge of the bed.

"FRANK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" her mother screamed at her father, while still holding the phone up to her mouth.

Jane quickly pulled the phone away from her ear and scowled, the shrill screaming making her feel like a huge gong was going off in her skull. "Ma, God, just stop screaming. Use your key to get in ... bye!" And with that, Jane clicked off the phone and headed to the kitchen to start some coffee. Reading the paper at her kitchen counter with coffee in hand, she wondered how the hell she was going to make it through this day.

...

Maura got in from her run around eleven. She awoke at eight, though she had no idea how after last night at the Robber. She wasn't inebriated - Jane had drank enough for both of them. But it was a late night and after getting Jane home and settled, she hadn't gotten home until well after two. She had the option of staying of course, but she had stayed Friday night and wanted to get home to sleep in her own bed. Last night was fun though - it always was, especially when Frost and Korsak joined them. By the time the two other detectives arrived, Jane was already three beers in to her evening. The three stooges, as she affectionately referred to the three detectives, immediately launched into shooting pool and throwing darts.

_"Come on, Maura, why don't you shoot with us?" Frost asked, chalking up his pool cue. _

_"I don't really play pool."_

_Jane laughed. "That's `shoot' pool and why not? You should at least just give it a try."_

_"Okay," Maura said, shrugging and jumping down from her high bar stool by their table. _

_"This is gonna be good," Korsak said, elbowing Frost. _

_"You know, I have a good idea boys - why don't we set up a little friendly wager here?" Jane suggested._

_Frost and Korsak exchanged glances before Frost spoke up. "What'd you have in mind, Rizzoli?"_

_"Well, how about we play teams? Maura and I against you two."_

_Korsak laughed. "Sure, but where's the wager in this?"_

_"Well, how about if we win, you are buying for the night and if you win, we are buying," Jane suggested. _

_Frost gave her a disbelieving look. "Really Rizzoli? Awesome, Korsak - free booze tonight."_

_"Yeah, that works for me. You're on."_

_"Okay, Maura, I'll help you out, okay? And don't worry, I can beat these two single-handedly."_

_Maura smirked. "I hope so, because I've never played this in my life."_

_Jane rolled her eyes. "Shot. You've never shot pool in your life. You don't `play' pool."_

_"Okay, ladies first on the break."_

_Jane lined up a shot and the balls scattered around the table. On her break, she ended up sinking a solid. _

_"Okay, so the point now, is to get all the solids in the pockets that we can, but not, I repeat, __**NOT **__the black one, okay?"_

_Jane missed an attempt for her next shot and Frost took his turn, sinking three stripes. _

_Maura walked slowly around the table, pool cue in hand. After her third lap around, Jane's impatience got the better of her. "Oh my God, Maura, what the hell are you doing?"_

_"Relax, Rizzoli, you'll be thanking me."_

_Jane, Frost and Korsak all exchanged a glance on that one. "Oh, this ought to be good," Jane snarked, low enough where she thought Maura wouldn't hear. She was greeted by glare. _

_All three detectives' jaws dropped, however, when Maura successfully sank one solid, then another, then another until finally only the black ball remained - the one, as she understood it, she was not supposed to hit into a pocket. _

_"Now what?"_

_"Um, you have to call which pocket you plan on sinking the black ball into," Jane asked, a look of disbelief on her face. _

_"Oh, well, that's easy - that one," Maura said, indicating the middle pocket and without any hesitation, the ball ended up in her called pocket. _

_"Okay. What was that, I mean, how did you -" Frost started but Maura cut him off._

_"That was a fun game!"_

_"Maura, how did you do that?" Jane asked, still looking at the green felt table, still not believing what she just saw happen. _

_"What? Getting the balls into the pockets? That was all physics. I mean, all you have to do is line up the shot, figure out the exact angle and velocity with which to move your arm to exert the proper amount of force so when the two balls collide - " she said but was interrupted by Jane waving her hands. _

_"Ya know what, Maura, I don't care. I don't care how you managed to kick their asses, but you did. Nice work," Jane said, leaning her cue against the table. "Now, I believe we have a bar tab to run up, courtesy of Frick and Frack."_

_Maura laughed. "Okay, cabernet, please."_

_"And I'll take another of these," Jane said, playfully shaking her empty beer bottle. _

_"Ya know, Rizzoli, Somehow I think you knew the 4-1-1 on that. You knew she was a pool shark," Korsak said, semi-bitterly as he and Frost headed up to the bar. _

_When the guys were out of earshot, Jane turned to Maura. "Wow. We really need to take that act on the road. You were very convincing about having no idea how the game worked! We've worked that on other dudes before, but I really didn't think those two knuckleheads would go for it!"_

_"I know, right? It really was just a little too easy. And you nailed the looks of disbelief."_

_Jane laughed. "Yeah, I always do."_

_"Here, sharks." Korsak said, shoving the beer at Jane while Frost handed Maura her cabernet._

_"Cheers!" Maura said, as they all clinked their bottles and glass. _

Maura showered and dressed, then headed to the kitchen to make a dessert for the evening. She told Jane she'd only bring wine, but she wanted to contribute something else too. She knew they all loved chocolate so she out to make a chocolate decadence cake.

...

A half hour later, Jane was towel drying her hair when her mother knocked on her bathroom door. "Honey, it's just us. I don't want you busting out of here with your damn gun because you think there's an intruder," her mother said as she opened the door.

Jane smiled and kissed her. "Smart thinking, Ma. I'll be out in a few minutes."

Jane couldn't help but laugh - Maura, as smart as she was, didn't even give it a thought to give Jane a heads up the other day when she used her key to get in - but her mother had. She shook her head, still laughing at that little irony.

When she came out into the living room, her mother had already taken over the kitchen. She quietly sighed to herself, walked out and greeted her father with a big hug and kiss. "There's my Janie. How are you, Sweetheart?"

"I'm okay, Pop. How are you doing?" she asked, her arms still around his neck.

He didn't answer right away, but she felt him squeeze her a little tighter. "I'm tryin', kid. I'm tryin'," he said, giving her a final squeeze and kissing her cheek.

"I know, Pop. I'm trying too. Me too," she said, feeling tears starting to well in her eyes. When she looked at her father, she saw the tears in his eyes too. "I know today's gonna be tough, Pop, but I talked to Frankie the other night. I told him you and Ma miss him and love him."

Frank smiled. "What else did he say?"

"Come on, let's sit down. You want some coffee?"

"Yeah, sure. Thanks."

Jane hugged her mom from behind as she was chopping up herbs. "I'll help you in a little bit. I just want to have a cup of coffee with Pop for a bit, okay?"

"Of course, Sweetie."

Jane joined her father on the couch. He looked at her expectantly. "Thank you. Now tell me, what did your brother say?"

"He told me that he saw Grandma and Pop Pop when he crossed over and then later Nana and Grandpa. He's seen everyone and he said they have their own type of Sunday dinners. He's okay, Pop. He says he's busy but I made him promise to see you and Ma."

Frank rubbed at his eyes. "I hope he does, Janie. I really, really miss him."

"I know, so do I. Guess I'd better go help Ma before she starts ranting and raving," Jane said as she winked at him and hugged him again.

She was ready to throw herself at the mercy of her mother in the kitchen. "Okay, Ma, what do you want me to do?"

"Wash those hands, you're making the meatballs."

Jane groaned quite audibly. "You know that is my least favorite thing to do! Come on, isn't there something else ... anything else?" she lamented, even as she put her hair up and washed her hands.

"No. That is what I need you to do. What time is Maura comin'? We could use another set of hands," Angela said, putting everything Jane would need in front of her.

"Ma, come on, she's a guest today, I'm not putting her to work in the kitchen."

"A guest? Jane, Maura ceased being a guest years ago. You two are practically sisters for God's sake."

"Hell, now that you put it that way, I should make her come over. She could make these damn meatballs," Jane said, laughing as she got to work. She looked up to find Angela looking at her with her hands on her hips. "What?"

"I wasn't joking, Jane. What time is she coming?"

"I told her three. That's fine, Ma. We'll get it done. Jeesh."

Jane watched as her father walked around looking at all her photos and he stopped at one of the photos of she and Frankie. He picked it up and she could see his shoulders hunch a bit.

Angela wiped her hands on a dishtowel and went up to Frank, putting her arm around him as they both looked at the photo. A small smile touched Jane's lips as she watched the two of them. As crazy as her mother was, Jane adored her and her father was her hero - she was in awe of her parents' relationship. She was proud of the way they were dealing with everything - and she was even proud of herself. Feeling like she was intruding on their private moment, she turned her focus back to making the meatballs.

...

Maura was running a bit early and as she got up to Jane's apartment, she could smell the food cooking from the hallway. She wasn't quite sure what she would be walking into in there and she was a bit apprehensive. She herself would miss the way the dinners used to be - complete with the fun, laughter and crazy antics. She took a deep breath and knocked.

Jane answered after a few moments. "Hey, Maur," she said, stepping aside so she could come in.

"Hi," she said brightly. Frank and Angela got up to greet her, both of them hugging her tightly, almost knocking the wind out of her. Jane took the bag she was carrying into the kitchen while Maura talked to her parents.

"Hey, what's this?" Jane asked, taking the cake container out of the bag and holding it up.

"Oh, yes. I made a chocolate decadence cake for dessert. I know you said just wine, but I figured why not. I felt like baking."

"Oh, good. Saves me from running to the bakery to get cannoli."

"Yeah, you're off the hook, Janie," Frank said, laughing.

Maura was happy to see there was joviality in the room. She half expected to walk in and see everyone mopey and depressed - and she would have totally understood that. But this, it brightened her to see they were trying to carry on.

"It smells fantastic in here, Mrs. Rizzoli," Maura said, sitting next to her on the couch.

"Maura, please - Angela. Okay?"

"Okay," she replied, smiling. "Can I do anything at all to help?"

"Coulda used ya about four hours ago to make meatballs," Jane shouted from the kitchen.

Angela rolled her eyes and Maura laughed, having seen Jane make the same face umpteen thousand times. "I know you're rolling your eyes over there, Ma. Quit it."

...

They finally sat down to dinner and the mood became a bit more somber. Jane lifted her wineglass and everyone followed suit. "To Frankie, the best son and brother, a great friend, a great cop. We all love you, buddy," she said.

"I don't think I could add anything better to that, Sweetie," Frank said and with that, they all clinked glasses.

Despite the toast though, there was a noticeable void at the table and they all felt it. Maura noticed everyone looking down, kinda picking at their food.

"I have an idea," Maura started, a bit hesitantly.

All eyes were expectantly on her.

"Why don't we all go around the table and share a memory of Frankie? I'm sure you guys have some wonderful stories and I'd love to hear them and I'm sure you all would love to be reminded of them," she said.

"That's a great idea, honey," Angela said, reaching over and squeezing her hand.

And for the next hour over dinner, they ate and shared funny stories about Frankie and everyone was laughing. It felt, at least to Maura, that he was almost there - in a way. Once dinner was done, Jane and Maura started clearing the dishes.

"Hey, that was a great idea you had, Maura. Thank you. That really, really helped my parents - and me," Jane said, starting the coffee.

"You're welcome. I'm glad I could help. It really was a nice celebration of his life."

Jane smiled. "Yeah, it was. I think it should be a new tradition at our family dinners, don't you?"

Angela overheard that from the doorway and chimed in "Yes, I do" as she placed her arm around Maura's shoulders.

"Me too," Maura said, nodding. "Me three." Frank chimed in from the table.

They all smiled.

Dishes were cleared and dessert put out. Jane was in the kitchen, pouring coffee and she looked out at the scene at the table. Maura dishing out pieces of the chocolate whatever the hell ya call it cake with Frank and Angela talking her ear off. She smiled. She missed Frankie and felt his absence like a knife sticking directly into her heart. She loved Frost and Korsak almost as brothers. But the three people she was looking out at right at the moment, well, there was only one word to describe them - family.

The End

**A/N - There you have it folks. Hope you enjoyed this one. Still not sure if I'm going to do a third part of this story, will have to think on that, but I have a few other stories up my sleeve. As always, thanks for reading. Please also read and review this part for me, I'd appreciate it. Thanks! rutgers **


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